Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
no you cant smoke seaweed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
