if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
