Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize