Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
