you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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