Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize