so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
