I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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