Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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