the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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