No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
