One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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