I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize