We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize