And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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