Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
