Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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