just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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