she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
