I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
