weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize