He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
