I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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