did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
