He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
