Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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