If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
