we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
