that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
