I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i barfeds in our rink
You smell like stripper and shame
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
