I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
