She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
