google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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