He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
