It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
