chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
