Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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