Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
