the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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