New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
