In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
