In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
