i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
