why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
