Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize