Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
MIDGETS
????
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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