Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
