We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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