About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
