Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
