I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
