I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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