I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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