You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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