i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is Oprah even human
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
