my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
