I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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