I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
