4 words: hood of his car
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize