doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
