All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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