but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
