I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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