We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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