Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
