I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
