Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
