Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
