just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
