I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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