I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
