Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
