I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
